Aath Din...sucide In Sad Love Story

[vamp545]

Bebas nigaahon mein hai tabaahi ka manzar,
Aur tapakate ashq ki har boond,
Wafa ka izhaar karti hai,

Dooba hai dil mein Bewafai ka khanjar,
Lamha-e-bekasi mein tasaavur ki duniya,
Maut ka deedar karti hai,

Aey hawa unko karde khabar meri maut ki,
Aur kehna,
Ke kafan ki khwahish mein meri laash,
Unke aanchal ka intezaar karti hai......




Mera andaza aath din ka hai. Poore aath din.


Main koi scientist ya pathologist nahi hoon aur na hi koi jyotishi. Main toh university mein economics padhata hoon. Par thodi bahut research, thoid kitabon ki khaak chhan kar mujhe poora yakeen hai ke Delhi ki garmi mein mera aath din ka andaza bilkul theek bethega.


Kyunki main tumse bahut pyaar karta hoon aur hamesha karta bhi rahunga. Aur tum ye baat bhi bahut achhi tarah janti ho ke badlav mujhe pasand nahi. Kisi bhi tarah ka koi bhi badlav. Phere lete hue jab tumne meri patni hone ka vachan liya tha, usi waqt maine bhi tumhara pati hone aur rehne ki kasam uthayi thi.

Is kasam ko toda nahi ja sakta, na badla ja sakta, ye tum jaanti ho.


Tum ghar vaapis aaogi. Tum ek baar phir hamare bedroom mein kadam rakhogi. Jis waqt ka maine andaza lagaya hai, us waqt tum andar kadam rakhogi. Jis hisaab se maine andaza lagaya hai, usi hisaab se tum mere nazdeek aaogi. Aur phir tum hisaab lagaogi ke mera andaza theek tha ya nahi.


Aath din meri jaan, Aath din.


Shayad ye bhi haqeeat hi hai ke mohabbat ek zinda cheez ki tarah hai aur jis tarah har zinda cheez ko ek din marna hota hai, usi tarah se mohabbat bhi ek din dam tod deti hai. Kabhi kabhi achanak aur kabhi dheere dheere, tadap tadap kar.


Aaj se aathve din hamari aathvi anniversary hai aur is anniversary par maine tumhare liye ek khaas tohfa taiyyar kiya hai.


Tum ghar par akeli hi aaogi, jaisa ke tumne mujhse wada kiya hai. Vaise toh tumhare mutaabik ab tumhare dil mein mere liye pehle wali jagah nahi rahi par phir bhi itni ummeed toh main tumse kar hi sakta hoon ke tum mujhse kiya apna wada toh nibhaogi hi. Tum par maine hamesha yakeen kiya tha, tumhari har baat pe
aankh band karke bharosa. Koi sawal nahi kiya tha maine us din jab tumne mujhse kaha tha ke tumhari zindagi mein aur koi doosra aadmi nahi. Theek usi tarah mujhe aaj bhi yakeen hai ke tum ghar par akeli hi aaogi.


Mumbai se tumhari flight Delhi Airport par dopahar 3:22 par land hogi. Tumne mujhe airport se tumhein pick karne ke liuye maine mana kiya hai aur main tumhari baat ko poori izzat doonga. Tum airport se Janakpuri ke liye ek Taxi karogi. Tum chahti ho ke tum ghar aao, apna sab saman lo aur usi taxi mein bethkar vo raat kisi hotel mein guzaro kyunki Mumbai ki agli flight agle din hi hai.


Tum taxi ko hamare ghar ke bahar ped ke neeche rukvaogi. Taxi mein bethi kuchh der tak tum nazar jamaye ghar ki taraf khamoshi se dekhti rahogi. Tum kaafi thaki hui hogi. Us waqt tumhein samajh nahi aa raha hoga ke kya karo. Jhijhak, afsos, dukh, guilt ki ek ajeeb mili juli si feelings se tum kuchh der tak vahin bethi guzarti rahogi.


Ya shayad tum vahan bethi sirf ye socho ke agle ek ghante mein sab khatam ho jaayega. Aur aakhir tumhein tumhari aazadi mil hi jaayegi.


Agar tumhari flight delay nahi hui toh tum takreeban 4 baje tak ghar pahunchogi. Garmi us waqt bhi bahut zyada hogi aur Taxi ke A.C. se tumhara bahar nikalne ka dil nahi kar raha hoga. Tumhein gaye hue 5 hafte ho chuke honge aur bahar sadak par taxi mein bethi tum ghar ko dekhogi aur ye sochogi ke kuchh bhi toh nahi badla.


Tum is baat ko bilkul nazar andaz kar dogi ke hamare living room ke parde zindagi mein pehli baar tumhein band milenge. Tum is baat ko bhi nazar andaaz kar dogi ke hamare ghar ke bahar bane lawn mein ghaas bahur zyada badh chuki hai aur pani na milne ki vajah se garmi mein jhulas kar jal chuki hai.

 

[vamp545]

Kitne badal gaye hain vo halat ki tarah,
Ab milte hain pehli mulaqat ki tarah,
Ham kya kisi ke husn ka sadqa utarte,
Kuchh din ka saath mila toh khairat ki tarah....


Ghar ke bahar newspapers bikhre pade honge. Mailbox mein pichhle kayi din ke letter pade honge. Ye sab dekh kar shayad tumhien kuchh ajeeb lage. Aur shayad tumhein thodi bechaini ho, ya thoda guilty bhi feel ho. Kyunki tum jaanti ho ke ghar in sab cheezon ko lekar tumhara pati ki particular tha.


Tumhara vahi pati jiske liye ghar ki saaf safai kitna matlab rakhti thi. Aur sirf ghar ke andar ki hi nahi balki ghar ke bahar ki bhi safayi.


Aur aaj sochta hoon toh shayad hasi bhi aati hai ke kabhi meri yahi baaten tumhein kitni zyada pasand thi. Kitni mohabbar karti thi tum meri inhi aadaton se jo baad mein tumhein pareshan karne lagi thi, Kaise pehli baar jab tumne mera kamra dekha toh ye kaha tha ke ye doosre ladko ke kamro jaisa ganda nahi balki bahut saaf hai.


Aur baad mein tumhein meri yahi aadat aur safai par tumhein tokna kitna bura lagne laga tha.


Toh tum bahar bethi ghar ke gandi halat ko dekhogi aur dil hi dil mein apne aap se kahogi ke tum iske liye zimmedar nahi ho. Paanch hafte ho jaayenge tumhein gaye hue aur in paanch hafto mein sirf 2 baar tumne mujhse phone kiya aur har baar mujhe bas yahi kaha ke main tumhein jaane doon.

Kaha kya balki tumne toh mujhse haath jodkar bheekh hi maang li ke main tumhein bhool jaaoon aur jaane do. Jaise tumhein mujhse bheekh maangne ki koi bhi zaroorat thi.


Ghar ke bahar meri car dekh kar tum samajh jaogi ke main ghar par hi hoon aur shayad is baat ka tumhein afsos bhi ho kyunki saare raste tum yahi ummeed aur dua karti aayi hogi ke main tumhein ghar par na milun aur tum chup chap apna saman lekar nikal jao.


Ke tumhein mera samna na karna pade.


Par shayad tum ye bhool chuki hogi ke maine tumse ye wada kiya tha ke main tumhein us waqt ghar par hi milunga taaki ham ek aakhri baar mil saken aur apne divorce papers par sign kar sake. Taaki ham saare settlements nipta saken.


Hairat ki baat hai ke saath jeene marne ki kasmen ab settlement jaise ek shabd mein simat gayi.

Ghar ke bahar khadi car HAMARI car hai, ye ghar HAMARA ghar hai. Kyunki ye saari properties mein tum barabar ki hissedar ho. Yun toh tum ek housewife thi aur ghar ka sara kharcha mere zimme tha, ye sab cheezen maine khud kharidi thi par phir bhi maine in sab cheezon ke tumhein bhi barabar maalik banaya hai kyunki tum meri biwi ho, meri hamraaz ho, meri ham-safar ho, meri ardhangini ho, meri better half ho.


Kyunki main tumse be-intehaan mohabbat karta hoon.


Airport se ghar tak tum poore raaste sochti hui aayi hongi. Mujhse kya kehna hai, kya baat karni hai, saari lines tumne ek baar phir rehearse ki hongi. Tum jaanti ho ke main tumse kahunga ke tum apna irada badal do aur sab bhool kar ek baar phir ghar aa jao aur tum jawab mein apni line rehearse karti aaogi. Ke mujhe kaise samjha hai ke ab sab khatam ho chala hai. Ke ab tum vaapis kabhi nahi aa sakti sivaay is ek ghante ke jabke tum apna saman lene aaogi.


Sivay ek ghante ke jab tum aaogi bhi toh vaapis chale jaane ke liye.


Tum mujhse kahogi ke main tumhein maaf kar doon aur ke tum bahut sharminda ho. Ke tumhein bahut afsos hai.

 

[vamp545]

Wafa ki aakhri hadh se guzar liya jaaye,
Sitamgaro ke mohalle mein ghar liya jaaye,

Jidhar nigah uthe aap hi ke jalwe hon,
Jiye toh aise jiyen warna mar liya jaaye.....



Ye ghar, hamara ghar. 2 saal pehle jab hamne ye ghar banvaya tha toh kitne shauk se banvaya tha. Kis tarah se tumne ghar ki har ek cheez ko bade dekhbhal se khud design kiya tha. Kaise kaun sa kamra kahan banega, kis tarah banega, kitne kamre honge, kaun sa paint hoga, kaun se parde, har cheez ko tumne khud apne aap shauk se pasand kiya tha.


Aur kyun na karti, kabse ham is ghar ki aas lagaye bethe the. Kabse tum din raat bas apne ghar ki baaten kiya karti thi. Kaise tum kaha karti thi ke jab apna ghar hoga toh tum aise sajaogi, vaise sajaogi.


Kaise tumne poore ghar ko ye dhyaan mein rakh kar banvaya tha ke hamare 2 bachche honge.


Shaadi ke 6 saal ho jaane ke baad bhi tum bachcha nahi chahti thi kyunki tumhein is baat ki zid thi ke tum apne bachche ko janam apne ghar mein dogi jahan vo pal badhka bada hoga.


Aur hairat ki baat hai ke kaise tumne mujhe phone par aakhri baar baat karte hue kaha tha "Thank god hamara koi bachcha nahi hai"


Tumhein car mein bethe behte thodi der ho chuki hogi. Taxi driver ne car ka engine aur A.C. dono band kar diye honge aur tumhein ab halki halki garmi mehsoos honi shuru ho chuki hogi.


Tum hamesha bahut sundar thi. Behad khoobsurat. Itni khoobsurat ke kabhi kabhi mujhe lagta tha ke tumne kyun mujhe apna pati chuna. Shakal soorat mein main kahin se bhi tumhari mukaable nahi tha aur kai baar anjane mein tumne mujhe is baat ka ehsaas karaya bhi tha.


Kaise tum haste haste mazak mein keh jaati thi ke tum chahti toh tumhein ek se ek khoobsurat ladke mil jaate. Kaise tum aksar masoomiyat se mujhe mere chehre ka ehsaas kara deti thi.


Par maine kabhi tumse koi shikayat nahi ki. Haan mujh mein shayad kami thi par kis mein nahi hoti. Bhagwan ne har insaan mein achhe aur bure ka sahi mishran banaya hai. Gun avgun sab mein hote hain. Mujh mein bhi the.


Tum mein bhi the par kabhi maine tumhein uska koi ehsaas nahi karaya. Main shayad tumhari vo achhi side hi dekhta raha jisse mujhe beintehaan mohabbat tha. Jis par main dil-o-jaan se marta tha.


Car se bahar nikal kar apne aapko dhoop se bachati tum ghar ki taraf badhogi aur dil hi dil mein sakht dhoop aur garmi ki apne aap se shikayat karogi. 5 hafte Delhi se bahar reh kar tum bhool chuki hogi ke in dino Delhi ka mausam kaisa rehta hai.


Garam, bahut garam.


Aur aise hi kuchh garmi shayad meri aatma ke andar bhi hai, meri rooh aur mere dil mein bhi ja basi hai. Tum meri biwi ho aur maine kabhi tumhare saath koi zyadti nahi ki. Kabhi apni aawaz tak tumhare saamne oonchi nahi ki. Us waqt bhi nahi jab tum mere saamne pagalon ki tarah chilla rahi thi ke tum talak chahti ho. Ke tum mujhse pyaad nahi karti, kabhi kiya hi nahi.


Aur tab pehli baar maine tumhari nazar mein sachchayi dekhi thi. Ab tak jo mohabbat main tumhare chehre mein dekhta tha vo toh sab dhokha tha. Tab pehle baar maine tumhari nazar mein apne liye ghrana dekhi thi.


Vo pal main kabhi chah kar bhi bhool nahi sakta.

 

[vamp545]

Barq nazron ko,
Baad-e-saba chaal ko,
Aur zulf ko kaali ghata keh diya,
Meri aankhon mein sawan ki rut aayi,
Jab deeda-e-yaar ko maiqada keh diya.


Main kahan,
Jurrat-e-labkushai kahan,
Tauba tauba junoon ki ye betabiyan,
Rubaru jinke nazren bhi kabhi uthti na thi,
Unke munh par aaj unhen bewafa keh diya.



Us waqt mujhe ehsaas hua tha ke shaadi ke 7 saal tak tum jo dikha rahi thi vo sirf ek bhram tha. Tumhari asliyat toh jaise ek parde ki pichhe thi aur tum sirf biwi hone ka apna role play kar rahi thi. Aur ab achanak vo role khatam karte hue jab shayad tumhein samajh nahi aaya ke kya kaha jaaye, jab tumhare paas alfaaz ki kami ho gayi toh tum gusse mein chillane lagi thi.


Kaise tumne chilla chilla kar apne chehre se nakaab hata diya tha. Kaise tumne vo parda phaad diya tha jiske pichhe tum saat saal tak chhupi rahi.


Main tumse pyaar nahi karti. Tumse shaadi karna ek bahut badi galti thi. Please mujhe jaane do. Main yahan nahi reh sakti. Dam ghutne laga hai mera yahan.


Aur main kisi pagal goonge ki tarah khada tumhein dekh raha tha. Sadme mein sirf tumhare munh ko hilta hua dekh raha tha par usse nikalte shabd nahi sun raha tha. Main tumhari taraf badha toh tum fauran pichhe hat gayi thi, jaise mujhse koi badbu aa rahi ho.


Aur tab maine tumse kaha tha ke main tumhein jaane nahi de sakta aur na hi jaane doonga kyunki tum meri biwi ho.


Yaad hai kaise tum sardi ke dino mein chup chap mere pichhe se aakar thande haath meri kameez ke andar daal deti thi.


Tum aksar aise bachchon jaisi harkaten karti thi.


Yaad hai ek baar tum mere liye valentine's day par gift lekar aayi thi aur khamoshi se mujhe bina bataye meri desk par rakh diya tha. Aur main apne kaam mein itna magan rehta tha ke usi same desk par bethe hone ke bavajood hafton tak mujhe vo gift nazar nahi aaya. Tum intezaar karti rahi aur phir thak kar tumne khud mujhe us gift ke baare mein bataya aur mujhe khol kar dikhaya.


Tumhare pyaar se bhare us surprise ko maine poori tarah kharab kar diya tha par shayad tumhein chot maine us waqt pahunchayi jab tumhare gift kholne ke baad mere chehre par zara bhi khushi tumhein dikhayi nahi di aur main ek baar phir apne kaam mein lag gaya.


Shayad yahi sab baaten thi jinhone tumhein mujhse itni door kar diya. Shayad.
Par shaadi ke waqt tumne mujhse wada kiya tha ke tum kabhi meri kisi baat ka bura nahi manogi. Ke tumhein kabhi mere kaam ko lekar kisi baat se koi takleef nahi hogi. Maine tumhein bataya tha ke mera kaam mere liye sabse pehle hai aur meri personal life par shayad iska thoda bahut farak bhi pade.


Aur tumne fauran mujhse wada kiya tha ke mere kaam ko lekar tumhein koi pareshani nahi hogi, tum kabhi bura nahi manogi. Ke tum hamesha mujhse pyaar karti rahogi.


Kya jhooth bola tha tumne? Ya jaldbaazi mein bina soche samjhe ek wada kar diya tha jo ab tod rahi ho?
​

 

[vamp545]

Unka koi pegham na aaya,
Dil ka tadapna kaam na aaya,
Tu na mila toh dard mila hai,
Dar se magar tere nakam na aaya.

Husn ne ki ji bhar ke jafayen,
Uspe magar ilzaam na aaya,
Tere baghair aey jaan-e-tamanna,
Dil ko kahin aaram na aaya.




Aur ab toh ham dono hi shayad un toote hue wadon se kahin aage nikal chuke hain.

Agar ye sach hai ke mohabbat ek zindai cheez hai aur har zinda cheez ki tarah ye bhi ek din mar jaati hai toh kya aisa ho sakta hai ke mari hui mohabbat mein phir se jaan aa jaaye?


Ghar ke bahar pachunch kar tum bell bajaogi. Vahi bell jo ek din tum khud pasand karke kharid kar laayi thi. Poore 4 din din market mein bhatakne ke baad tumhein ye doorbell pasand aayi thi. Tumhein koi aisi bell chahiye thi jo thodi musical ho aur jiska music ham dono ki personality se match kare.


Bahar khadi tum kuchh der tak bell bajati rahogi. Kisi bahar ke aadmi ki tarah tum apni chaabi se door khol kar andar nahi aana chahogi jo ki tum tab kiya karti jab tum is ghar mein rehti thi. Jab tum is ghar ko apna samajhti thi.


Aur jab darwaza nahi khulega toh tum mera naam lekar mujhe pukarogi.


Koi jawab nahi aayega. Tum ek baar phir ghanti bajaogi aur phir mera naam pukarogi.

Itni khamoshi. Ek pal ke liye toh tumhein aisa lagega jaise ke ghar par koi hai hi nahi.

Aur phir aakhir mein tum aakhir mein apne purse mein rakhi ghar ki chaabi nikalogi aur darwaza khologi.

Chaabi daalte hue tumhara dil ek pal ke liye dhadkega aur tum shayad ye ummeed bhi karogi ke chaabi fit na ho. Ke tumhare pagal pati ne tumhare jaane ke baad ghar ke locks change kar diye hon aur tumhein apni zindagi aur ghar se hamesha ke liye nikal diya ho.


Par nahi. Aisa kuchh nahi hoga. Locks ab bhi vahi hain aur chaabhi bhi. Tum chaabhi ghumaogi aur darwaza khul jaayega.


Tum ghar ke bade se bhaari darwaze ko khol kar andar aaogi. Pushing open the door. Bada bhaari sa darwaza jis par kaale rang ka paint hai aur tumhare panje ka nishan chhapa hua hai.

Andar aate hue tum yahi ummeed karogi ke ghar ke andar vaisi hi smell hogi jaise tab hoti thi jab ye ghar tumhara tha. Tum ummeed kar rahi hogi ke andar A.C. on hoga aur ek thandi hawa tumhare chehre par lagegi jo tumhein bahar ki garmi se bachayegi. Par nahi. Na toh thandi hawa hogi aur na hi vo khushbu jo is ghar
mein tumhare hone se hoti thi.


Ghar ke andar ki hawal garam hogi vaisi hi jaisi ke bahar ki hawa hai. Balki usse bhi buri kyunki andar ki band hawa mein ek ajeeb si badbu hogi ho ghar mein ghuste hi tumhare chehre par thappad ki tarah lagegi.


Ghabra kar tum ek baar phir mera naam pukarogi.


Tumhari aawaz khud tumhare hi kaano ko kitni kamzor aur pareshan si lagegi. Aur tum ghar ke andar se uth rahi smell ki vajah se phir ek baar apni naak sikod logi. Theek usi tarah jo mujhe bahut pasand aaya karta tha.


Pareshan hokar tum ghar ke andar se uth rahi smell se bachne ke liye living room ki khidki kholne ki koshish karogi.


Mujhe maaf kar do please.

Main ab ek ghante se zyada ke liye vaapis nahi aa sakti. Kabhi nahin.

Ye shayad meri hi galti thi. Mujhe tumse shaadi nahi karni chahiye thi

Mujhe pata hona chahiye tha ke ham dono galti kar rahe hain.

Haan maine apne gharwalo ke kehne par tumse shaadi ki thi.

Unke dabav mein aakar.

Vo kehte the ke tum ek bahut bade professor ho aur tumhare saath mera future safe and secure hoga.

Maine tumhein pyaar karne ki bahut koshish ki. Bahut chaha ke tumhari biwi ban sakun, sirf jism se nahi balki dil se bhi.

Main sirf apna saman lene aaoongi. Aur jo main nahi le ja sakti vo toh kisi ko de dena ya phenk dena.

Tum meri zindagi mein pehle ladke the. Tumse pehle main kisi ladke ko nahi jaanti thi. Agar jaanti hoti toh shayad .....

Nahi maine tumse kabhi pyaar nahi kiya, kabhi kar hi nahi paayi. Apna jism toh tumhein de diya par dil nahi de paayi aur kabhi de bhi nahi paoongi.


Tum ek baar phir mera naam pukarogi. Puchhogi ke kya main uper ke kamre mein hoon? Tumhara dil tumhein fauran palat jaane ko keh raha hoga. Bhaag jaane ko keh raha hoga.


Phir bhi tum apne dil ki baat na sunte hue sidhiyan chadhti uper ke kamre ki taraf aaogi.



Teri yaadon ke jo aakhri the nishan,
Dil tadapta raha, ham mitate rahe.

Khat likhe the jo tumne kabhi pyaar mein,
Unko padhte rahe aur jalate rahe.....

 

[vamp545]

Dhadakte dil ke saath tum sidhiyan chadhti uper aaogi. Sidhiyon par ab bhi vahi carpet hoga jo tum pasand karke laayi thi. Jiske rang ko lekar ham dono mein kaafi behas hui thi. Sidhiyon ke saath bani railing ka sahar liye tum uper ko chadhti aaogi, jaise koi need mein chal raha ho.


Uper aate hue pata nahi tumhare dil mein kaun si feeling hogi? Guilt? Afsos? Dukh? Darr? Aazadi?

Ya tum sirf ye soch rahi hogi ke uper tumhein kya milne wala hai? Ya ye ke kyunki tum ab tak meri biwi ho toh tumhara farz banta hai ke ek baar uper aakar dekho?
Tumhare chehre par tumhari vo cute si smile hogi is baat ka mujhe poora yakeen hai. Vahi smile jiska main aaj bhi deewana hoon par fark sirf itna hoga ke tab vo smile nakli hogi, ye sochkar ke agar main tumhein uper mila toh tum muskura kar mujhe dekho.


Tum ghabra rahi hongi. Shayad tumhein halke se chakkar bhi aa rahe hon. Dil zor se dhadak raha hoga aur khoon ka bahav dimaag ki taraf zyada badh jaayega. Jaise jaise darte hue tum seedhiyan chadhogi vaise vaise kabhi tumhari aankhon ke aage roshni hogi toh kabhi andhera sa.


Sidhiyan chadkar tum ek pal ke liye rukogi aur ek gehri saans logi. Par saans zyada lambi aur gehri le nahi paogi. Kyun ghar mein neeche aa rahi smell yahan aur bhi zyada tez hogi. Garmi ki ghutan se bhari ek ajeeb se tez smell. Tumhara dam ghutne lagega aur shayad tumhein ulti bhi aane ko ho par tum palat nahi sakti. Vaapis nahi ja sakti. Tumhein bedroom ka darwaza khol kar andar dekhna hi padega.



Ishq ko dard-e-sar kehne walo suno,
Kuchh bhi ho hamne ye dard-e-sar le liya,
Vo nigahon se bachkar kahan jaayenge,
Ab toh unke mohalle mein ghar le liya.

Aaye ban thanke shehar-e-khamoshi mein vo,
Kabr dekhi jo meri toh kehne lage,
Arrey aaj itni toh iski tarakki hui,
Ek beghar ne achha sa ghar le liya.



Aur hamare bedroom tak aane se pehle tumhein us chhote se kamre ke aage se guzarne hoga, vo kamra jo tumne hamare bachche ke liye banvaya tha. Vo bachcha jo kabhi hua hi nahi.


Bedroom ka darwaza band hoga. Tum apna haath darwaze par rakh kar dhakelna chahogi aur tumhein darwaze ki garmi mehsoos hogi. Aur ab bhi tumhare dimag mein ye chal raha hoga ke tum darwaza khol kar andar nahi dekhna chahti par phir bhi tum aisa kar rahi ho. Tum darwaze ke bahar bane knob ko apne haath se pakad kar ghumaogi aur himmat karte hue dheere se darwaza khologi.


Bhin-bhinahat ke aawaz kitni tez hogi. Is qadar tez jaise kahin aag lagi ho. Aur uske uper se kamre mein uth rahi badbu jaise kahin kuchh sad raha ho. Bhin-bhinahat aur badbu dono milkar aisa aalam bana rahi hongi jiska tum yun achanak samna nahi kar paogi.


Koi cheez tumhare chehre ko chhukar guzar jaayegi, tumhari aankhon ko, tumhare honthon ko. Ghabra kar tum 2 kadam pichhe ho jaogi aur phir mere naam lekar pukarogi.


Kamre mein koi halchal nahi hogi. Parde gire hue honge aur lights off hongi. Us halki si roshni mein tumhari aankhon ko adjust hone mein thoda waqt lagega. Aur jal dikhai dena shuru hoga tab tumhein kamre mein bhari makkhiyon ka ehsaas hoga.

Vo bhin-bhinane ki aawaz inhi makkhiyn ki hogi.


Hazaron? Lakhon? Chhat se lekar deewaron tak, har cheez par makkhiyan.

Aur neeche carpet par bhi. Usi carpet par jispe ki cheez ka gadha sa daagh hai.

Aur bistar par bhi makkhiyan. Haan vahi mehenga sa bed jo ham dono apne liye pasand karke laaye the. Jispar maine jaane kitni baar tumse mohabbat ki. Jispar tum har raat meri biwi bankar mere saath soyi.

Kya ye? Kaun hai ye?

Ye chehra ya jo kuchh bhi chehre ka bacha hai ab pehchan mein nahi aa raha.
Chamdi sooj kar is hadh tak pahunch chuki hai ke ab toh bulbule se uth rahe hain jaise chulhe par rakha kuchh gaadha sa pak raha ho.


Chamdi ab chamdi bachi nahi. Ye toh ab ek kuchh kaali si cheez ban chuki hai jo dheere dheere gal kar jaise neeche bistar par beh rahi hai, jaise neeche zameen par beh rahi hai. Chamdi jo ab dheere dheere us jism se alag ho rahi hai jis jism ko dhaka uska kaam tha.


Jism bhi is tarah se phool sa gaya hai jaise andar hawa bhar di gayi ho. Dheere dheere sad raha jism jispar makkhiyan jaise dawat manane aayi hon.


Aur yahan vahan tukdo mein hai jo kabhi munh tha, jo kabhi naak thi, jo kabhi kaan the.


Us insaan shareer jaisi cheez ki kalaiyon par katne ka nishan hai. Khoon se sana chaaku ab bhi vahin pada hoga jahan vo haath se chhut kar gira tha


Dono haath aur baahen jo makkhiyon se poori tarah dhake hue honge is tarah phele hain jaise kisi ko gale laga lena chahte hon.


Har taraf aur har jagah gaadhe kaale pad chuke khoon ke dhabbe hain. Laash ke kapdo, chadar aur neeche carpet par.

Badbu bahut zyada hai. Sadne ki badbu jo kamre ki hawa ko poori tarah ganda kar chuki hai par phir bhi tum palat nahi paogi. Jis cheez ne tumhein pakad kar kamre mein thaam rakha hoga vo tumhein itni aasani se chhodegi nahi.


Poora kamra us waqt jaise ek khula pada zakhm hoga. Tumhara pati mara nahi hai bas ek doosri duniya mein chala gaya hai jahan se vo hamesha tumhein dekh sakega, apni biwi ki tarah. Kyunki vo apni zindagi mein tumse kabhi alag hua hi nahi, usne kabhi tumse apna rishta toda hi nahi. Vo toh jiya bhi tumhare ishq mein, tumara pati bankar aur mara bhi tumhara ishq mein tumhara pati kehlate hue.


Hawa mein ud rahi hazaron lakhon aankhen tumhare pati ki hi hain jo tumhein dekh rahi hai, ye hawa mein pheli ajeeb si bhinn bhinn ki aawaz tumhare pati ki hi hai jo tumse baat karna chah rahi hai, kuchh gila koi shikva karna chah rahi hai.


Makkhiyan tumhare chehre ko, tumhari aankhon ko, tumhare honthon ko chhukar guzar rahi hai jaise aakhri baar tumhara pati tumhein chhuna chah raha ho. Tum haath hilati unhein apne saamne se hataogi aur dheeme kadmon se bistar par padi laash ki taraf badhogi. Laash ke paas bistar par ek kagaz ka tukda pada hoga jo tum uthakar padhogi.



Gham maut ka nahi hai,
Gham ye hai ke aakhri waqt bhi,
Tu mere ghar nahi hai....

Nichod apni aankhon ko,
Ke do aansoo tapken,
Aur kuchh toh meri laash ko husn mile,

Daal de apne aanchal ka tukda,
Ke meri mayyat par chadar nahi hai .......