Fani's Poetry ...... (my Own Poetry)

Amirijaz

Regular Member
Feb 6, 2015
83
36
68
23
las
Assalam O Alaikum Friends How are you all....
Main koi shair to nahi lekin shairi ka shoq hai
isi liye kabhi kabhi Poetry likhny ki koshish karta
rehta hon, itni achi to nahi likh pata lekin jo b likha
hai socha yahan share karon so ye thread isi liye
banaya hai .....
Hope you Guys will Like It ... :)






(Mera Ye Deewana Dil)

Mera Ye Deewana Sa Dil
Dost Hai Mera Lekin
Jb Ye
Sohni Sorat Takta
Hai To
Mujh Ko Dhoka
De Jata Hai
Yaar Ye Us Ka

Ho Jata Hai






(Chandni Raat)


Chandni Raat Kay Aik Pehar Main


Chand Kehta Hai


Kaan Main Mere
Pagal Hai Tu
Ya Phir Shaid
Ashiq Hai Deewana
Hai Tu


Ja Ab So Ja
Raat Bohat Hai


Bas Itni Mulaqat Bohat Hai





(Check These also)


http://www.tafrehmella.com/threads/fanis-poetry-my-own-poetry.252515/page-6#post-2385380

http://www.tafrehmella.com/threads/fanis-poetry-my-own-poetry.252515/page-8#post-2432866


http://www.tafrehmella.com/threads/fanis-poetry-my-own-poetry.252515/page-14#post-2757249




last shair to outstanding tha waah
 
  • Like
Reactions: Fanii

shehr-e-tanhayi

ایسی محبت کیا کرنی جو نیند چرا لے آنکھوں سے
Co Manager
Jul 20, 2015
36,331
11,193
713
bahot acha likha hai
likhtay rahiay
share kartay rahiay
 

Angela

اجتناب
TM Star
Apr 29, 2019
2,214
2,343
213
~Dasht e Tanhaayi~
Assalam O Alaikum Friends How are you all....
Main koi shair to nahi lekin shairi ka shoq hai
isi liye kabhi kabhi Poetry likhny ki koshish karta
rehta hon, itni achi to nahi likh pata lekin jo b likha
hai socha yahan share karon so ye thread isi liye
banaya hai .....
Hope you Guys will Like It ... :)
Wa'alaikum salaam...! :s Lo g hum aaj aa hi gaye hain aap ka thread dekhney,X_Xkb sey aap ney keh rakha tha..X_XX_X,
dua krain k hum sahih slaamat waapas jayen :joy
(Mera Ye Deewana Dil)

Mera Ye Deewana Sa Dil
Dost Hai Mera Lekin
Jb Ye
Sohni Sorat Takta
Hai To
Mujh Ko Dhoka
De Jata Hai
Yaar Ye Us Ka

Ho Jata Hai
Dil Phenk Hazrat :oops:
Chand Kehta Hai

Kaan Main Mere
Pagal Hai Tu
Ya Phir Shaid
Ashiq Hai Deewana
Hai Tu
Ja Ab So Ja
Raat Bohat Hai
Bas Itni Mulaqat Bohat Hai
kuch behtar hai ...... {(laugh)}{(laugh)}{(laugh)}aap tou waqi Wasi Shah sey inspire hai{(laugh)}{(laugh)}{(laugh)}sorryyyyy{(laugh)}............
BTW achaa likha hai..lekin yeh azaad nazmain hi q?? koi Ghazal bhi try krain :) you can do..!! :) bus Wasi Shah ko thorra side pe rakh k :joy
Wasi shah k kuch ghazlain , nazmain hmain bhi pasnd hai lekin collectively wo kisi aur hi nehaj pe poetry likhtey hain :s :joy
 

Angela

اجتناب
TM Star
Apr 29, 2019
2,214
2,343
213
~Dasht e Tanhaayi~
Kal Yaad Jo Aai Uski Mujh Ko
Chaand Se Pocha Tum Hi Bata Do
Kesa Hoga Chand Wo Mera
Chand Ye Bola Baat Suno Tum !
Chand Wo Tera Boht Haseen Hai
Roshan Hai Wo Mujh Se Zyada
Us Main Koi Daagh Nahi Hai !!
Us main koi daagh nahi hai....Nice one....!!! :)
Suno ......
Aaj Kal Mera
Kuch Haal Aisa Hai
Kisi Se Bhi Jo Milta Hon
To Kehta Hai .....
Mohabbat Hogai Hai Kya ...
Mohabbat Kesy Hoti Hai
Nahi Maloom Hai Mujh Ko
Bas Itna Janta Hon Main
Jo Tum Ko Sochta Hon To
Main Khud Ko Bhool Jata Hon !!
that's tooo :) achi hai...:)
Wo Jheel Si Ankhain
Chaand Sa Chehra
Kashish Rakhti Hai Nazron Main
Daagha Deti Hai Baaton Se
Har Aik Dil Chura K Wo
Khud Se Mansoob Krti Hai
Or Usko Tor Deti Hai
Phir Us Tooty Huay Dil Ko
Wo Tanha Chor Deti Hai !!
inniiiiiii zaalim :oops: :joy
rabt aur wazn theek nahin...theme achi hai..us ko behtar kijiye :joy
hum serious keh rahain k agr si main thorri c radd o badal ho jaye tou aap ki nazm bht achii ho skti :)
Chahat...

Jesy Gehry Samunder Main
Seepon Ka Moti

Buland Asman Main Sitaron Ki Manind

Ye Chahat Hai Barish K Qatron Ki Manind

Jo Barsy To Sarey Jahan Ko Bheego De

Jo Bharkey To Chahat Hai Sholey Ki Manind

Jo Sarey Jahan Ko Jahan'num Bana De

Jo Smjho To Chahat Dilon Ki Kahani ...

Jo Dekho To Sooraj Se Roshan Boht Hai !!
'''seepon ka moti'' ki jagha pe '' seep k seeney main moti'' likh lain tou ziyada behtar nai ho ga???
aur likhney ki tarz yoon ho tou achi lggey gi....
jesy Gehry Samunder Main
seep k seeney main moti...
Buland Asman Main Sitaron Ki Manind
azaad nazm aur typical nazm donon ki jhalak hai is nazm main... :oops:

Aap ki yeh nazm zbrdst hai especially theme...last line ko agr aap 2nd last line k hum qaafiya kr dain tou ... ziyada achaa lgey ga :) aur nazm k usool bhi poorey ho jayen gey :)
Achaa likha hai aap ney...hum ghaltiyan nai nikaal rahey :joy agr ghaltiyan nikaali tou aap ki saari nazmain hmaari ho jaani:s :joy just kidding...hum sirf kuch alfaaz ki aslaah kr rahey hain , serious v ley lo tey saanu ki :joy
 
  • Like
Reactions: Fanii

Angela

اجتناب
TM Star
Apr 29, 2019
2,214
2,343
213
~Dasht e Tanhaayi~
Kabhi din main to kabhi kaali siyah raaton main
Yaad aati hai
teri gosha e tanhai main,

Kesy smjhaon tumhain tum jo nhi hoti ho
din to kat'ta nhi or raat kat'ty
saalon main,

Ki koshish jo kabhi tum ko bhool jany ki

tum to bhooli nahi sb bhool gaya baatain main
Theme achi hai....lekin wazn main kuch gharr barr hai :) highlighted alfaaz pr nazr saaani kijiye...:)
یہ کچھ قافیے ہیں۔۔شائد آپ اس غزل میں استعمال کر سکیں۔۔۔:)۔
ناطوں، ماتوں (اس قافیہ کا بہت زبردست شعر بن سکتا ہے۔) سوغاتوں، باراتوں، خیراتوں،مناجاتوں(اس ہی بہت اچھاشعر بن سکتا)، ،
hum ney qaafiye is liye urdu main likhye taa k parhney main confusion na ho...Achi koshish hai..jaari rakhiye :)
 
  • Like
Reactions: Fanii

Angela

اجتناب
TM Star
Apr 29, 2019
2,214
2,343
213
~Dasht e Tanhaayi~
Har pal usko chaha hai
Har pal usko chahengy
Uska muj se batain krna
dil ko acha lagta hai

Meri chahat kam na hogi
chahat bharti jayegi
uska muj ko aisy takna
dil ko acha lagta hai

Din dhalta hai raat aati hai
chaand nikalta hai jb bhi
chaand ko aisy takty rehna
dil ko acha lagta hai


dekhun tujh ko chain ata hai
na dekhun to dil jalta hai
khud ko zakhmi karty rehna
dil ko acha lagta hai

Aik din mera ho jayega
muj ko aisa lagta hai
uska mera ho kr rehna
dil ko acha lagta hai
aur yeh Wasi Shaaaaaah:s Achi hai yeh bhi....
kabhi kuch sochta hun to
meri sochon pe haawi
ho se jaty ho
kabhi kuch b
jo likhny bethta hn to
kaghaz pr tera hi naam bunta hn
agar tum ajnabi ho to
mujhe phr kyun
tum itna yaad aaty ho
mujhe hr lafz main phr kyun
tum hi dikhty ho
Btao na ..........
kabhi kuch sochta hn tou
meri sochon pe haavi
ho c jaati ho...
kabhi kuch bhi jo likhon tou
tera hi naam bnta hai...
agr tum janabi ho tou...
mujhey q yaad aati ho??
mera hr lafz phir q
tera hi naam buntaa hai...
btao naa k yeh kesa rishta hai..
Agr tum ajnabi ho tou..............
...................................
tmaam azaafi alfaaz hum ney nikaaal diye hain :joy aur nazm ko aik nayi shakal dey di hai :joy aap ki nazm main wazn poora nai ho raha tha naaa is liye :s
apni is nazm pe bhi dobara nzar farmayen....chaltey hain hum...:joy time bchaney ki koshish k bawjood bhi kaafi time lug giya...:)
Achaa likha hai aap ney...khush rahiye aur koshish jaari rakhiye... Allah krey zor e qalm aur ziyada :)
 
  • Like
Reactions: Fanii

Angela

اجتناب
TM Star
Apr 29, 2019
2,214
2,343
213
~Dasht e Tanhaayi~
@Fanii Wasi Shah ...Agr aap hmain wesey tag krtey tou hum ney ''sb achaa''' hi kehna tha ..lekin aap ney hmain khud invite kiya is kaam k liye..:joy wesey hum ney sirf un alfaaz ki hi nishandahi ki hai..jin ki drusti aap ki poerty k liye fayedey mnd hai :) stay blessed :joy
 
  • Like
Reactions: Fanii

Kavi

Super Star
Oct 30, 2015
10,909
1,917
513
kabhi kuch sochta hn tou
meri sochon pe haavi
ho c jaati ho...
kabhi kuch bhi jo likhon tou
tera hi naam bnta hai...
agr tum janabi ho tou...
mujhey q yaad aati ho??
mera hr lafz phir q
tera hi naam buntaa hai...
btao naa k yeh kesa rishta hai..
Agr tum ajnabi ho tou..............
...................................
Nazm 'shutar-gurba' ka shikaar ho gai hae. Aap mukhatib ko
ya to 'tu' keh lijeeye ya 'tum', lekin aek hi nazm/ghazal mein
dono tarah se mukhatib nahi kar saktey.

"ho si jaati ho" key mutabiq mukhatib ko 'tum' kaha jage ga.
lekin baad mein mukhatib ko 'tera' bhi kaha gaya jis ka
matlab huwa 'tu'.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Angela

Kavi

Super Star
Oct 30, 2015
10,909
1,917
513
hum ney sirf ''tum'' hi istimaal kiya too ka lafz astimaal nai kiya :)
"ho si jaati ho" key mutabiq mukhatib ko 'tum' kaha jage ga.
Lekin baad mein mukhatib ko 'tera' bhi kaha gaya jis ka
matlab huwa 'tu'. Agar "tum" kehna hae to "tu" ki bajaey
tumhara istimaal ho ga.
 
Top
Forgot your password?