1. Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
2. Life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, so waste your time and have the time of your life !
3. It’s not cheating unless you get caught.
4. Quitting smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I’ve done it dozens of times.
5. if you fail to prepare,
then prepare to fail
6. no’one is perfect,
well then im no’one
7. DON’T HIT KIDS!!!
No, seriously, they have guns now.
8. Everybody wishes they could go to heaven but no one wants to die.
9. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
10. if u think no one notices you and ur all alone, then try not paying the bills!!!
11. 1f u c4n r34d 7h15, u r34lly n33d 2 g37 l41d
12. I dnt have an ego…i just love how awsum i am!!!
13. i want to kill the hottest person alive… but suicide is a crime!
14. If you love something, let it go. If it doesn’t come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.
15. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, But if the doctor is a lady forget the fruit...