Teacher: Can anyone give me the name of a liquid that won't freeze ? Pupil: Hot water ! Teacher: Does anyone know which month has 28 days ? Pupil: All of them ! Why was the head teacher worried ? Because there were so many rulers in the school ! Teacher: I told you to stand at the end of the line ? Pupil: I tried, but there was someone already there ! Teacher: If I bought a hundred current buns for a dollar, what would each bun be ? Pupil: Stale ! Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you've only drawn the cow ? Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass ! Teacher: What is "can't" short for ? Pupil: Can not miss. Teacher: and what is "don't" short for Pupil: Doughnut ! Teacher: Can anyone tell me what the Dog Star is ? Pupil: Lassie ! Teacher: In 1940, what were the Poles doing in Russia ? Pupil: Holding up the telegraph lines ! Teacher: Why are you standing on your head ? Pupil: I'm just turning over things in my mind, sir ! Teacher: That's quite a cough you have there, what are you taking for it ? Pupil: I don't know teacher. What will you give me ?