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Teacher vs Student

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by Darshi, Jun 22, 2007.

  1. Darshi

    Darshi
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    Teacher vs Student

    TEACHER: Why are you late?
    WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
    TEACHER: What sign?
    WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
    *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
    TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?
    CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!
    *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*--
    TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile"?
    JOHN: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
    TEACHER: No, that's wrong
    JOHN: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
    *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
    TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
    SARAH: "HIJKLMNO"!!
    TEACHER: What are you talking about?
    SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
    -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-**-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
    TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
    GEORGE: Here it is!
    TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
    CLASS: George!
    *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
    TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that
    we didn't have ten years ago.
    WILLY: Me!
    *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
    TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
    TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
    *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
    SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
    FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
    SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.
    *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
    TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
    JOSE: Don't bite any.
    *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
    TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
    ELLEN: I is...
    TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
    ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
    *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
    Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
    Johnny : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the
    Same day same time.
    *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
    Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his
    father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know
    why his father didn't punish him?"
    Johnny : "Because George still had the axe in his hand."
    *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
    Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
    Father : No. Why do you ask that?
    Son : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
    *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
    Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one
    is green and one is blue with red spots!
    Kirk : Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same
    at home.
    *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
    At a church school gathering, one little old lady approached
    a cute 5-year-old girl and asked her where she got her good looks.
    "I musta got 'em from my Daddy," said the little girl, "'cause
    Mommy's still got hers."
    *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
    Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and
    stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
    Student: Brotherly love.
    *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
    Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before
    eating?
    Sam : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.RE>
    -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
    Teacher: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same
    as your brother's. Did u copy his?
    Desmond: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
    -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
    Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when
    people are no longer interested?
    Pupil : A teacher.
     
  2. Don

    Don
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    hahahahahhahahahahahaha
    some of them are old but still goooood..... gud work
     
  3. Darshi

    Darshi
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    thanks lol
     
  4. Dark

    Dark
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    {}{456{}{456{}{456{(ahy9)}{()|dddd Nice post
     
  5. Cute-Angel

    Cute-Angel
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    nice joke
     
  6. nrbhayo

    nrbhayo
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    nice jee
     
  7. Hassan1953

    Hassan1953
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    TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?
    CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!

    {(laugh)}{(laugh)}{(laugh)}
    TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
    TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. {(laugh)}{(laugh)}

    TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
    JOSE: Don't bite any.
    *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
    TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
    ELLEN: I is...
    TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
    ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
    *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
    Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
    Johnny : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the
    Same day same time.
    {(laugh)}{(laugh)}{(laugh)}{(laugh)}{(laugh)}{(laugh)}{(laugh)}{(laugh)}{(laugh)}{(laugh)}{(laugh)}{(laugh)}{(laugh)}

    Ha ahahahaha
    Good jokes
     
  8. lilhunter

    lilhunter
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    hahhahahahh ..........................bt old na
     
  9. Abgeene

    Abgeene
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  10. d3siikurii

    d3siikurii
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    {(laugh)} nice ones
     
  11. nrbhayo

    nrbhayo
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    hehe lolzzzz
     

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