TM debate Round 1- Group E (Sabah and Mohsin) vs. Group K (Sarkar and Desikuri)

[Prince-Farry]

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This is the point for ready, set and GO for this debate​

Note- meharbani farma kar tamam rules aur instructions ko gor se dobara parhye…is debate ko shuru karne se pehle…jo koi participatnt in rules ko follow nai karega..woh disqualify hosakta hai…yaad rakhiye ke ap apne tamam ideas ko aik hi dafa mei post nai karege..balke ap aik idea aik time par deige..aur dosri taraf ki party ko respond karege…meharbani farma kar yeh bhi yaad rakhiye ke Pro aur Con side ke jo ideas maine diye hein…woh sirf topic ki achi wazahat ke lie hai..aur apko yeh samjh ayegi ke ap konsi taraf is debate ko leikar jaa rahe hein…ap zimadar hai ke ap in topics aur apne arugments ke lie aur research kare aur naye ideas istemal kare…ap mere diye hoye ideas use kar sakte hein par naye ideas use kiye hoye ziada behtar asar dalege apke arugments ko mazboot karne mei…
Note- Please read over the rules and instructions before starting the debate. Whoever fails to follow the rule, that group may disqualify from the debate. Remember, you are not pointing all of ur ideas in one attempt or in 1 post…you just have to point 1 idea and responding to the opposite group’s reply…Please keep in mind that the Pro and Con side arguments are only a better understanding of the topic and to give you the hint to start off the topic..they give you an idea in which direction you are responsible to research more and use different ideas to create a better understanding of the argument for the reader..you are welcome to use my ideas but new ideas will be encouraged and worthwhile for the reputation of your ideas..​

Sab se pehle mai har group ko 3 ideas bataoga jisse participants ko pata chalega ke unhe kis baat par argue karna hai…unko pata chalega in ideas ke saath ke who kis tarah ke aur ideas dhoond kar apni debate ko kamyaab bana sakte hein…
I will provide each participating group by 3 ideas to brainstorm and start up their arguments. By using these ideas, participants will know that what kind of information they require to achieve a successful purpose for their side of argument…..
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Topic 6: Kia mushtarka khandan ka nizaam aj ke modern daur mei chalna chahiye ya isey khatam hojana chahiye?....
Should the joint family system continue in modern times or should it be wiped-out?

Assigned to
Pros: Group E (Sabah and Mohsin) vs. Con: Group K (Sarkar and Desikuri)​

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Yeh topic Asia, Africa and Middle East mei mushtarka khandan culture pe roshni dalta hai..…
This topic talks about the joint family system mostly found in Asia, Africa and Middle East.

• Group E(Favor karne wali side) yeh side argue karsakti hai ke mushtarka khandani nizaam isi tarah chalna chahiye jis tarah ke yeh tareekh mei chalta aya hai..is nizaam mei bht sari azeem khasosiyat hein jo ke rishte daaro ke lie care karna..aur isi tarah pyaar aur waqt ko aik dosre ke darmiyat bathna bht bari khandani ikhdar hein…bajaye iske ke insan akele aur tanha zindagi guzare shahsi bunyaad par…is liye azeem khandani nizaam ko chalte rehna chahiye..logo ki care ke waste…
  Group E (The Pro Side) can argue that a joint family system should continue like it once did in the history. It has great outputs of relatives caring for each other as well as the love and time shared together as families rather than living a boring and lonely life at individual basis. Therefore, the great culture of joint family should continue for the sake of people’s care...
• Group K (against argue karne wali side hai) yeh side argue karsakti hai ke mushtarka khandani nizaam bohot sari mishkilat paida karta hai jesa ke khandani laraye, khandani masail aur asdawaji masail …rishte daro ki waja se barhte hein….aur yahi talaako ka silsila bhi barhate hein..isi liye family issues ko kam karne, khandani laraye ko khatam karne..aur asdawaji masail ko khatam karne ke lie logo ko sirf akele, aman aur sakoon ki zindagi guzarni chahiye bajaye iske ke woh mushtarka khandani nizaam mei reh kar masail paida kare….
  Group K (The Con Side) can argue that joint family system causes many problem like domestic violence, family conflicts and issues and spousal conflicts due to relatives leading up towards divorce. In that sense, to limit family issues, domestic violence and spousal conflicts..people should consider to live individually as a peaceful happy life as independent members of the society rather than creating problems in a joint family culture..

Rules:


1. Please koi participant kisi se laraye jhagre nai karyega..kisi ki zaat par baat nai karyega..kisi ke religion ke leikar wahiyat words nai bolyega and kisi ke gender hone par mazak nai urayega..
2. Galat words istemal karna manah hai..
3. Sab se respectful manner mei baat karyega..
4. Agar apko apne religion ke bare mei achaye and ya uska reference dena hai..u r most welcome…
5. Koi aik argument ko bar bar repeat nai karyega…

1. No discrimination based upon race, religion, culture or sexual gender!!!
2. No use of bad language!!!
3. No slang that consists of any sarcastic or disrespectful manner!!!
4. If you want to explore and elaborate on the good characteristics of your religion, YOU ARE MOST WELCOME!!!
5. No repetition of the same argument more than once!!

Instructions:

Step 1: Debate mei jo sab se pehle posting karege..woh PRO side wale karege..and unka kaam hai ke wo topic ka introduction deige and apna AIK idea deige detail mei...
Step 2: 2nd step mei CON side argue karege apne AIK idea ko detail mei and respond karege PRO side ke reply ko…
Step 3: Step 3 mei PRO side ko response karna hoga CON side ke above reply ko….and prove karna hai ke who jo CON side ne reply kiya hai..woh sahi hai ya galat…..and pher apna pher se AIK idea point out karege detail mei
Step 4: Step 4 mei CON side ko respond karna hai PRO side ke reply ko and usey prove karna hai key yeh sahi hai ya galat…and pher apna aik idea point out karege detail mei....
Step 5: Ab apko process samjh agia hoga…to yeh debate aik week tak chalet rahegi..and aik week ke baad yeh debate close hojani hai..

Step 1: The opening of debate will mark the argumentive statement from PRO side and the introduction of the topic and then they point out their 1 idea with details.
Step 2: CON side will argue their points against the topic and in favor of persuasion.
Step 3: The PRO side will respond to the CON side in order to prove why they are right and how the con side arguments doesn’t make sense.
Step 4: The CON side will prove why their arguments are right and PRO side arguments doesn’t make sense by responding to the PRO side previously.
Step 5: Since you understand the process, continue it for a week from the beginning of the debate.

 

[SaRkaR]

Sabah and mohsin start karo jee..

 

[Sabah]

Asalam-o-alaikum every one!​

By The name of Almighty Allah
who is the most merciful and compassionate as
well​

Jaise k humara topic hain Kia mushtarka ​

khandan ka nizaam aj ke modern daur mei
chalna chahiye ya isey khatam hojana
chahiye?....

kio k mai khud ek joint family ko belong kerti hu toh yeh wazeh taur per bata na chahte hu k for sure yeh nizaam agay bhi chalne
chahye...
kio k jitna zamana modern hota ja raha hain utne he loug independent hugae hain kessi ko koi rukne tokne wala nahin hain joh aise mei individual life ka jeena buhut mushkel hota
hain...
joh loug family se alug rahte hain kabhi kabhi hota yeh hain k unke gher mei joh elder hain like father ya phir husband matlab koi ek head of the family ho joh gher ko chalata hain and kaam k selsele mei for a week out of city jata hain and gher mei serf ladies rah jaate hain so for such family its really difficult k father ya
husband k baghair alone gher mei bacho k saath rahe aise mei toh koi incident ka hona like chor , dhaketi and kidnapping ek aam baat hai..
toh ager ek joint family mei rahe toh aise kessi ek k na hone se baki family ka saath zaroor rahta hain and aise koi hadse like chor
dhaketi ya phir kuch aur hone ka durr bhi nahin hota
ager koi hadsa ho bhi jaye toh kam se kam es baat ki sakoon huti hain k our family is here fo our safty and we will neither feel unsecure..
aur es sub k baghair jub bhi koi aur mushkel ajaye then pura family saath hota hain joh melker usay solve kerne ki koshish
kerti hain jeska kafi jaldi ek acha reslut bhi
atha hain ba nessbat ager alone life jye...

 

[SaRkaR]

ASSALAM-O-ALAIKUM.
​

SHURU ALLAH K NAAM SE JO BARA MEHERBAAN AUR NEHAYAT REHEM KARNE WALA HAI..
aaj mein is topic ke against baat karoonga aur joint family ke disadvantages bataonga..
Topic 6: Kia mushtarka khandan ka nizaam aj ke modern daur mei chalna chahiye ya isey khatam hojana chahiye?....
Should the joint family system continue in modern times or should it be wiped-out?

joint family system mai beshak kuch faaede b hain lekin is k sath sath buhat sare nuqsaan b hain...

joint family mai rehne ka sab se bara nuqsaan aae rooz k apas mai larai jagre hain..jis se logo ka

apas mai bhai chara khatam ho ja raha hai...ager aik hi ghar mai 2brothers shadi shuda akhette reh

rahein hain tu un k ghar k problems kaafi ziyada hain banisbat un 2 shadi shuda bros k jo alag alag reh

rahein hain...

.hamari modern society many individuals perfer karte hain ke unki life mein koi dhakhal andazi nah ho

aur woh koi rok tok ke begaar reh sakhein.

joint family systems ki wajah sei family relations bhi kharaab hote hain kuinke ke choti choti baat

note ki jaati hai aur us per comment kiya jahtah hai..jis ki waja se apas mai dil kharab hote hain aur

yahi choti choti batein aage chal k marriage breaks, aur family breaks hote hain in most cases.

individual rehne se insaan k ander ahsaas-e-zimadari aur b barh jata hai..kyun k usey pata hai k ye

mera kaam hai aur mujey khud hi karna hai...jab k joint family mai is baat pe larai jhagre hote hain..

hum logo ko haqeeqat ka samna karna chaeye aur haqeeqat ye hai k aaj k modern zamane mai joint

family system nahi chal sakta..

 

[Sabah]

hmmm aapne kaha k joint family mei rah ker kafi laraye jagre hote hain
and bhai chara khatam hujata hain..
bhai chara pyar mohabbat yeh insan ka eternal feeling hota hain ager koi jagra waghaira kare toh eske buhut se wajah hain and kahe bhi larai husakti hain like bahir kessi friend se ya phir kessi neighbor se...
ager koi insan khud aapne mahool ko acha aur peaceful rakhe toh yeh ek joint family mei bhi ban sakti hain..
larae serf joint family mei nahin balke ek indivdual life ek husband and wife k beach bhi huti hain jen mei rishta thoothne ki bhi imkanat huti hain kam se kam ager joint family mei aisa kuch ho bhi jaye and koi ek larae waghaira kare bhi toh usay samjhane k lie ek elder ya head of the family zaroor huta hain and ager ek dusre se koi rut bhi jaye toh baki sub unhe manate zaroor hain

and as u said ( individual rehne se insaan k ander ahsaas-e-zimadari aur b barh jata hai..kyun k usey pata hai k ye mera kaam hai aur mujey khud hi karna hai...jab k joint family mai is baat pe larai jhagre hote hain.. )

ager koi bande ko aapne zimadari ka ahsas ho toh voh ek family ko kia ek country ko bhi abad kersakta hain and bena kessi problem ki aapne kaam khud kerskate hain but ager koi careless ho toh voh khud k bhi zimdari ko nahin uta sakta chahe voh ek joint family mei rahe ya phir individual...

 

[d3siikurii]

[FONT=&quot]assalamualaikum..[/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]well jaiseh mere opposition ne likha hai “ager koi bande ko aapne zimadari ka ahsas ho toh voh ek family ko kia ek country ko bhi abad kersakta hain and bena kessi problem ki aapne kaam khud kerskate hain but ager koi careless ho toh voh khud k bhi zimdari ko nahin uta sakta chahe voh ek joint family mei rahe ya phir individual...”, tu mein yeh kehna chahoongi duniya mein bohat ( not all ) log careless hote hain aur realise nai karteh ke who kya keh deh the hain aur kisi ko hurt bhi kar dehte hain carelessly.. aur yeh carelessness ek joint family bohat hi dangerous hai..as sarkar mentioned above choti choti baton pe bareh masle aur rok tok shuru ho jati hai..aur rahi baat elders ki respect ki..toh who alaida reh kar bhi ho sakti hai..even without a joint family ek insaan khush reh sakta hai, aur elders ki repect aur pyaar bhi paa saktah hai.. zaroori nahi hai ke who ek joint family mein rahe.. [/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]aj ked or mein kafi kuch change ho chukah hai aur joint family should be changed!! As it results in breakdowns and conflicts.. yeh breakdowns or conflicts phir hamari new generation ko affect karti hai because they have to face these family problems, this can also lead to medical conditions of stress and depression which can lead to anxiety and many other mentally related problems.[/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]That’s why there shouldn’t be the joint family system..[/FONT]​

 

[mohsinmohsin143]

Aslamualikum my topic of disscusion is impotance of joint faimly in today life

jont faimly main rehnay ka koi b nuqsan nae hay ager parents ki janib say tarbiat ache hoo

Bohat say log joint faimly ka matlab yay samajtay hain k joint faimly main app ki personals sab k sath share hotay hay jab k haqiqat main aisaa kuch b nae hay joint faimly ka matlab house and expenditure sharing hay joint faimly ka aik husband or wife ki zindage main koi amal dakhal nae. Joint faimly main ager koi insan apni khushi na b share keray tou kise ko koi perwaa nae hotie mager jab aisay main kise b house member per musibat hoo tou sab aik ho ker os museabat ko share kertay hain is say who problem nae rahtaa bulkah aik jeet ki khushi main tabdeel hotaa hay khushi ho ya gham her aik ki khawahish hotie hay who apni feeling apnay logo say share keray or joint faimly k log jab b koi khushi ya gham akatay ho ker manatay hain tou wohi log jo eleha rehnaa pasand kertay hain who unko dekh ker joint faimly ki ahmiat ka undaza lagatay hay or apni elehdagi ko kostay hain chalain apko aik islamic example ayta hoo ager aik plate main aik insan khana khay tou who oska pait bharay ge jab k osi plate main ager 4 insan khana khaeen tou na sirf who khana unk pait ki bhook kum keray ga bul k medically b unk liyay faida mand hoo ga
joint faimly ki had her rehnay walay couple k room k bahar hotie hay qudaratie baat hay village k log city m rehna q pasand kertay hain q k city m ronaq hotie hay or ager ghar main koi chez naa hoo tou insan bazaar say asani say lay ata hay yahi haal joint faimly ka hay k ghar main ronaq rehtie hay or zarorat ki koio b chez kisi say b lay ja saktie hay chotie chotie leraian apas main mohabbat paida kertie hay q k khoun k rishtou main nafrat or badlay ki agg jay c koi chez nae hotie






individual rehne se insaan k ander zimadari aur b barh jata hai..kyun k usey pata hai k ye

mera kaam hai aur mujey khud hi karna hai meri help kernay wala koi nahi hay...jab k joint family mai aisa kuch b nahi hay

that’s y her aitnbaar say joit faimly is the best

---------- Post added at 06:44 AM ---------- Previous post was at 06:32 AM ----------

No body is perfoect her insan main koi na koi kami zarror hotie hay laikin oski yay kami os waqt khatam hoo jatie hay jab koi dosra oski help kertaa hay joint faimly main sab say achi baat he yahi hay ager koi insan apni kisi kami ki waja say koi p[roblem face ker raha hay tou baqi sab lo g oski help ker k oski kami ko pora ker daytay hain ise tarah wohi insan apni qualities k through dosrou ki help kertaa hay indivudal faimly hameasha insecure feel kertie hay tareekh gawah hay roberry and theft j say crimes ka mostly samna individual families nay kiya hay or joinbt faimliws k haan tou koi buri nazer say dekhnay say b dartaa hay

 

[SaRkaR]

ASSALAM O ALAIKUM..
​

MERE BHAI MOHSIN NE KAHA K JOINT FAMILY SYSTEM SIRF HOUSE AND EXPENDS SHARE KARNE KA

NAAM HAI TU MAI IN SE TOTAL DISAGREE HOON COZ JAHAN JAHAN JOINT FAMILY ABI B HAI AAP

KHUD SE CHECK KAR LEIN K WAHAN KYA HO RAHA HAI? KYA SIRF EXPENDS AUR HOUSE SHARE HO RAHE

HAIN YA ROOZ MARRA ZINDAGI K DOSRE MAMLAAT MAI B DAKHAL ANDAZI HO RAHI HAI....

MAI NE PEHLE B KAHA K HUMEIN HAQEEQAT MAI REHNA CHAEYE...AUR IS ZAMANE KI SAB SE BARI

HAQAQEET YE HAI K AAJ K DOR MAI JIS MAI BHAI BHAI KA GALA KAAT RAHA HAI ..BEHAN APNI JHOOTI ANAA K LYE BHAI KO BIWI SE LARA RAHI HAI AUR BAHI DUNYAWI FAADE K LYE APNI HI BEHAN KA HAQ GHASAB KARA RAHA HAI.TU AB MAZEED JOINT FAMILY SYSTEM MAI REHNA MUSHKIL HI NAHI NA MUMKIN HOTA JA RAHA HAI..



Holy book, Al-Quran explains women duties towards husband in following verses;
“O Mankind, keep your duty to your lord who created you from a single soul and from it created its mate (of same kind) and from the twain has spread a multitude of men and women” (Quran 4:1).



Again it is narrated in Quran
“He it is who created you from a single soul and made there from its mate, so that you might comfort in each other” (7:190).


These two verses of Quran clearly show that to each male Allah has created her mate and she is responsible only for her husband not for the whole family. Sometimes the age of brother in law is nearly equal or little less or more than the new bride and her responsibilities towards him often create misunderstandings in the couple. As on one hand new bride is responsible for all the family members in a joint family system but on the other hand loose talk with young brother in laws may create problems in her life with husband. When Islam is not allowing for co-education system, where male and female can take education in one place, then how can Islam allow for joint family system? In west now separate education institutes for girls and boys are preferred and establishing now, it is also basically an Islamic norm just like neutral family system.

 

[Sabah]

[FONT=&quot]"aj ked or mein kafi kuch change ho chukah hai aur joint family should be changed!! As it results in breakdowns and conflicts.. yeh breakdowns or conflicts phir hamari new generation ko affect karti hai because they have to face these family problems, this can also lead to medical conditions of stress and depression which can lead to anxiety and many other mentally related problems."

well dear jess conflict ki aap baat ker rhai hain joh kids per bora aser kerta hain toh voh serf unke mom and dad k beach ki tanav hute hain jenka truly bad affect hota hain kids per ager joint family mei kids rahe toh kam se kam aise conflict mei baki bacho k saath voh busy rah ker es sub problems mei involved nahin honge aur phir aise mauke per unhe cheer up kerne k lie and khayal rakne k lie unke dadi ya aunti bhi huti hain joh anxious hone ki habbit bacho mei paida nahin hoga ager yahi ek alug life mei huti then such mei kids en jameelu mei involved hoker kessi demaghi beemari ka shikaar hojata kio waha per unke lie koi aisa jagah ya shakhs nahin melta jess k saath rah ker en parishanio se door rahta....[/FONT]

 

[mohsinmohsin143]

Zindage bht say kaam first time hotay hain jay say shadi. her insanki shai main mard ko tou apnay ghar main rehnaa hota hay meger aik orat jo apnaa sab kuch qurban ker k os mard k sath aik new life guzarnay jati hay tou osay new mahool ko samajna partaa hay or os mahool ko understand kernay k liyay osko osk husband ka sath chiyay hota hay kabhi kabhi os orat os mahool ko samajnay main thori c problems hoti hay jin ki waja say chotie motie lerai hotie hay meger is main joint faimly ka koi qasoor nae hay yay sirf aik insani ghaltie hay jo os say or osk husband say hotie hay joint faimly ho ya invidual life bht buri hotie hay lets first take individual faimly aik alag ghar main rehtay howay husband wife main kabhi kabhi jhagra hoo jata hay jo intehai noiyat ka hotaa hay dono isay ager anaa ka maslaa bana lain tou sepration or divorce ho jatie hay but ager joint faimly main aisaa kuch hoo tou ghar k log un dono ko samjha ker aik ker daytay hay ya ager prob kuch ziada serious hoo tou woh apni bahoo ko ziaa favor daytay hain ager problem share kiyay jain tou woh jaldi hal hotay hay or joint faimly main ager koi baraa prob b hou tou baray ya chotay mill k osay solve kertay hay jis say sepration or divorce k chances kum ho jatay hain individual faimly main probvlem share nae hotay un p discussion hotie hay jo k ziada dangerous haay

 

[SaRkaR]

Jaisa k mohsin ne kaha k husbend wife mai choti choti baton pe larai hoti hai ..Tu mai is par ye kahon ga k joint family mai rehne ki waja se hi ye roz roz ki choti batein aik din bara problem creat krti hain, realty mai dekha jae tu ye 80% larai joint family mai rehne wale log hi face kr rahe hain,kyu k daily nand bhabi, saas bahoo ki apas ki daily ki batein sun sun k mard aik din tang aa k koi aisa qadam utha deta hai jo family breaking ka bahis banta hai, jab k only 20% individual rehne wale logo k sath b yahi problem hai..
Kyu k alag ghar mai rehne ki waja se biwi apne ghar k kamo mai busy rehti hai aur dosra us mai ye thinking b nai hoti k saara kaam mai kr rahi hun aur nand, bhabi ya saas bethi sirf tamasha dekhti hain....Aur haqeeqat b yahi hai k joint family ki ladies yahi batein soch soch k kurhti rehti hain aur aik din jab un k sabar ka paimana labraiz hota hai tu ghar mai larai jhagre start hote hain aur akhir kar baat yahi aa kr khatam hoti hai k theek hai jee aap apna alehda ghar le lein...
So ager yahi sb larai jhagra karne aur apas ki muhabbat ko khatam kar k hi jo karna hai tu kyu na insaan pehle se hi samajdari ka saboot de aur apna alag ghar basaa le..Jis se apas ki muhabbat b qaaeim rahe gi aur kisi kisam ka koi jhagra b nai ho ga

 

[Sabah]

yahi toh baat hain her ek jagah mei ager peace aur apas mei ache bonding ho
toh yeh mamle buhut ache se hul hosakte hain jaha tuk baat kaam ki hain toh mai yeh kahungi jitna kaam akele mei hujae us se kahe asani kaam saath mei jub koi aur bhi mel jul ker kare toh jaldi aur sahi se mukamal huti hain aur aise mei sub k kaam kafi ache arrangement k saath manage huti hain yeh toh khud bande per depend kerta hain k koi apana kaam kare ya na kare pura fmaily es pe dependable nahin hain aur Mashallah humare joint fmaily jub se mere paidayesh hue hain tub se chul raha hain and aaj tuk kabhi bhi kessi kaam k wajah se ya phir koi aur reason se gher se alug hone k baat nahin aye hain aur hum sub saath mei rahte hain kabhi aise koi baat per alug hona ka kesis ne socha bhi nahin hain kio k we all know hum ek dusre k baghair akele ek practicle life kabhi nahin guzar sakte

 

[SaRkaR]

Yahan pe baat ziyada logo ki ho rahi hai na k kissi aik family ki...Ager ap ki family bafazal-e-khuda ache se mil jul kr rah rahi hai tu iska hargiz ye matlab nhi lya ja sakta k 16 caror ki abadi k is country mai jahan jahan joint family hain wo sab khush hain..Megority joint family mai phoot par chuki hai aur jo reh gai hain wo b ab halaat k sath sath badal rahe hain...
Mai apko is hawale se apne pakhtoon bhayo ki example hi de deta hun k jab pakhtoon larka jawan hota hai aur us ki shadi kardi jati hai tu usey forun alag ghar de diya jata hai ..Mai ne personaly is baat ko pocha hai k aisa kyu kiya jata hai tu mujey bataya gaya k ye is waja se kiya jata hai k larke ki ab apni family ban gai hai tu ab ye us ki zimmadari hai k wo apni wife aur bachon ko sambhale..Aur usey apni zimamadari ka ehsaas ho.
Aur mere khayal se b ye aik best tareeqa hai kisi b insaan ko ehsas e zimmdari dene ka..Insaan k ander maturity aane ka, insaan mai kuwatt e faisla paida karne ka....Aur ye sab tabi ho sakta hai jab insaan ko pata hota hai k ye sab mujey hi karna hai meri jaga koi aur aa k mera kaam nhi kare ga...Ager joint family ho tu banda apne baron pe har baat daal kar khud azad ho jata hai jis ki waja se us k andar kbi utni faisla krne ki power nhi aati jitni aik individual rehne wale bande mai..
So mei phr yhi kahon ga k aaj k nafa nafsi k door mai apne aap ki zindagi hi ache tareeqe se manage kar le tu buhat bari kamyabi hai ..

 

[Sabah]

I know yaha but serf ek he joint fmaily ki nahin hurhai hain balke buhut sare families ki hurhai hain..
aapne toh larae jagre ka kafi zyada wajah joint family ko qarar diya but aap yeh mujhay bataye k joint family se alug jub serf ek husband and wife akele life meibaat baat per baihuss kerte hain and unke beach ki bonding kharab hujati hain toh uske kia wajah hugi kia tub bhi aap yeh kahenge k yeh unke family k dakhal andaze se hua hain ..no way..
let me tell you one thing donia mei aise bhi buhut loug hain aise family hain jenke gher k kherche buss serf kessi ek insan se chalta hain ager voh shadi ker k aapne alug donia banaye toh unke Maa Baba ne joh usay itna perhya bara kiya toh unke khidmat k lie kaun rahega
aur eske baghair bhi generally family ka her koi jaker aapne alug se life jye toh unke parents kia karenge jenke omeed unke aulad huti hain ager vohi aulad aapne zindagi ko alug kare toh kabhi parents ka pochenge bhi nahin k voh kess haal mei jee rahe hain...
itna toh aapko pata hoga k old age mei father aapne lie bahir jaker kaam nahin kerskata ek old mother mei gher k aur kaam kerne ki takat nahin huti jitna kerskate hain voh yeh k aapne grand child ko pyar aur ache terbiat de toh ager sub loug jaker alug life jye toh enka kia.....

 

[SaRkaR]

Sabah ne kaha k jo husbend wife alag rehte hain unki apas mai behes hoti hai tu mai is baat se inkar nahi kar raha larai ya behes tu har ghar mai hai chahe wo joint family ho ya individual..Par 80% ye problems joint family mai hain aur 20% ap individual mai keh sakte hain.

Meri oposite team se sabah ne sawal uthaya k un parents ka kya ho ga k jinho ne aulad ko pyar kiya aur bara kiya.
Sab se pehle tu ye kahon ga k joint family mai rehte howe ap ko ye pata hona chaeye tha k joint family kehte kisse hain..Let me tell you joint family wo hoti hai jis mai ap grand parents aap k parents ap k uncle phr un k aulad ager ,.Aap ki aunties..
Tu is mai parents ka jahan tak zikar hai tu individual rehne ka ye matlab nahi k aap apne parents ko hi chor dein..Ap ne khud dekha ho ga individual rehne wali families mai k ager kisi ki .1 se zada bete shadi shuda hain tu parents kisi aik k sath reh rehe hote hain,..
Umeed hai mere baat mere samaj aa gai ho gi...

 

[mohsinmohsin143]

my dear lerai tou her jaga hotie hai or sulah b app nay yay tou parh lia k lerai hotie hay but shayad app ko yay nahi pata chala k chotie chotie cheazo p lerai say mohabbat barhtie hay app k kheal main nand or bhabian apas main lertay hain os ka reason main bht pehlay explain ker chuka hota hoo k ager kise orat ko ghar ka mahool samajnay main time ziada lagay or adjest kernay main mushkill hoo tou lerai hotie hay koi insan jahaan b rahay osay apni kuch cheazain qurban kerni hee hotie hain ager koi aisaa nae kertaa tou woh aik sucessful life nae guzar sakta ager aik orat apni koi chez joint faimly main rah ker qurbaan nae ker saktie tou woh apni saas nandoo say achay relation qayam nae ker saktie or wohi or indvidually b apnay neighbours k sath b taluq nae qayam ker saktie or society say bilkul elehdaa ho jatie hay aik orat ki shadi jab hotie hay tou oska rishtaaa sirf osk husband say nahi hota oska rishtaa oski maikay waloo k sath sath osk susraal say b otna hota hay ager donu gharoo k baraber haqooq hotay hay jin ko nibhana os couple ki zimadari hotie hay or yahi kamayab zindagi ka base hay joint faimly main aik orat ager kise b peraishani main hoo tou ghar k sabhi loog oska sath daytay hain yahaan tak k oski peraishani jeet ki khushi main tabdeel ho jatie hay

 

[Sabah]

Sabah ne kaha k jo husbend wife alag rehte hain unki apas mai behes hoti hai tu mai is baat se inkar nahi kar raha larai ya behes tu har ghar mai hai chahe wo joint family ho ya individual..Par 80% ye problems joint family mai hain aur 20% ap individual mai keh sakte hain.

Meri oposite team se sabah ne sawal uthaya k un parents ka kya ho ga k jinho ne aulad ko pyar kiya aur bara kiya.
Sab se pehle tu ye kahon ga k joint family mai rehte howe ap ko ye pata hona chaeye tha k joint family kehte kisse hain..Let me tell you joint family wo hoti hai jis mai ap grand parents aap k parents ap k uncle phr un k aulad ager ,.Aap ki aunties..
Tu is mai parents ka jahan tak zikar hai tu individual rehne ka ye matlab nahi k aap apne parents ko hi chor dein..Ap ne khud dekha ho ga individual rehne wali families mai k ager kisi ki .1 se zada bete shadi shuda hain tu parents kisi aik k sath reh rehe hote hain,..
Umeed hai mere baat mere samaj aa gai ho gi...

Dear I know better than you k joint family kesse kahte hain
but shayed aapne theek se dehan nahin diya k mai kah kiya rahe the
now listen:
mai aapne family ka mesal deti hu... humare gher mei mere grand father nahin hain
mere grand mother and baki sare uncles hain yaha mai aapne parents ki nahin aapne
father k parents ki baat ker rahe the ager apke kahne k mutabek sub k sub alug rah ker bhi
aapne parents ki madad kerskate hain and unko alug hona chahye tha toh mere grand
mother and unke saath mere aunti ka kia hota voh donu kia kerti kaha jaate ager kessi bhi uncle k saath jate toh shayed yahi kahte k mai he kio kessi aur bhai k saath kio nahin jate.
ager yahi sub saath mei mel ker rahe toh kam se kam sub he aapne taraf se aapna huk samajh ker enka khayal rakte and zaroorat puri kerte and aap kahte hain k alug hoker bhi aapne parents k lie khidmat ya phir unke zarooriat puri kersakte hain
jitna yeh family mei rah ker kersakta hain utna voh alug hoker nahin kersakta toh mai aapke es baat se belkul bhi saihmut nahin hu k gher se alug rah ker bhi
aapne family ka help kerskata hain ager single ho toh zaroor kerta but unke apne bache
and wife huti then tub aapne parents k lie unke paas na toh time hota and nahin zarooiat
puri kerne k lie koi support kerte..

 

[d3siikurii]

[FONT=&quot]hmm..well as sabah ji said unke saath koi bad experience nahi raha..mein yeh kehna chahoongi hum unki family ke bareh mein debate nahi kareh ..hum joint family system ki perspective per argue kareh hain..har kisi ke experiences ache nahi hote joint family system ki..bohat sare issues arise hote hain aur problems create karte hain creating a non peaceful environment.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Phir baat ati hai privacy ki, you cant hide anything as u r in joint family ..what ever u want to keep secret....everyone can find that..so there is no privacy. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Aur kabhie kabhie yeh privacy bohat necessary hoti hai insaan ke wellbeing ke liyeh..[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Second thing when one member does a mistake ....u also will be charged for that mistake as u r in joint family..it affects to all the members of the family.. and when members are affected they all in threat of having break ups and arguments..it may also be they negotiate and be helpful but this is really rare. There will always be a generation gap & younsters will not always agree with what old people say.So there can be discrepancies I believe that each and every individual has some own flaws and qualities and they need to have their time to develop and grow individually.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]After the elders of the house other members of the family try to take over which creates conflict in the peaceful environment that had been created, which leads to breakdown in the family, however if the family is separate from before it is a lot easier to live peacefully without having any other control on your life except for ALLAH.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]personal space and freedom are needed in modern society as different beliefs and interactions occur around the world, a loving family can include grandparents, parents and kids and can still be living a peaceful life..zaroori nahi hai ke sub relation ek hi roof ke neechay hone chahye..[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]And lastly I would like to say where we live separately we can still love and respect the elders of the family without living under one roof..[/FONT]

 

[Sabah]

Dear mai ne mere family ka serf example de hain even Iam not involving my family but kio k mera joint family hain and I know k kaise zrooriat ka samna kerna perta hain thats why i gave this example so hame buss joint family ka kahna hain ager mai kessi cheez ka kahungi baat toh joint family ki he hurhai hain and aap first mere baat ko qoute ker k topic ko continoue kare aise mei topic ka maltab he change hujayega..

 

[Sabah]

.Dear I know better than you k joint family kesse kahte hain
but shayed aapne theek se dehan nahin diya k mai kah kiya rahe the
now listen:
mai aapne family ka mesal deti hu... humare gher mei mere grand father nahin hain mere grand mother and baki sare uncles hain yaha mai aapne parents ki nahin aapne father k parents ki baat ker rahe the ager apke kahne k mutabek sub k sub alug rah ker bhi
aapne parents ki madad kerskate hain and unko alug hona chahye tha toh mere grand mother and unke saath mere aunti ka kia hota voh donu kia kerti kaha jaate ager kessi bhi uncle k saath jate toh shayed yahi kahte k mai he kio kessi aur bhai k saath kio nahin jate.
ager yahi sub saath mei mel ker rahe toh kam se kam sub he aapne taraf se aapna huk samajh ker enka khayal rakte and zaroorat puri kerte and aap kahte hain k alug hoker bhi aapne parents k lie khidmat ya phir unke zarooriat puri kersakte hain
jitna yeh family mei rah ker kersakta hain utna voh alug hoker nahin kersakta toh mai aapke es baat se belkul bhi saihmut nahin hu k gher se alug rah ker bhi
aapne family ka help kerskata hain ager single ho toh zaroor kerta but unke apne bache and wife huti then tub aapne parents k lie unke paas na toh time hota and nahin zarooiat puri kerne k lie koi support kerte..

es baat ko continoue ker k topic ko agaye lejaye plzz...kio k ager her reply per new idea de then topic ka matlab change hujaega its better k hum se pahle jess ne debate ki hain unke baat ko agaye lejaker debate kare...